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What if my unemployment benefits end?

What if I can’t find a job making what I made last year?

What if I am unemployed for a year?  For two years?  Three years?

What if this?  What if that?  What if your life is being driven by worry and uncertainty?

You have a decision to make every single morning when you wake up.  You can dwell on the past, worry about the future, feel sorry for yourself, be depressed, and ask all these “what if” questions.

Or you can do something about it.

You need to be in control of your life.  If you feel out of control, you need to seek out someone who can help you regain control.  Not “What if I can’t get control back”.  Find someone to help, because (and let me say that again) YOU NEED TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE.

If you feel you’ve lost control step one is to regain control.  Whether that leads you to a therapist, a trusted friend, to your pastor, or directly to God Almighty it is up to you to take that step.  To regain control you need help.  Your life got out of control because you took your eye off the ball.  I’m not saying that to be mean-spirited, I’m just saying that at one point you had control, and now you don’t.  Career upheaval certainly can contribute to the loss of control, but it is not the reason for it.  Loss of control is mostly an attitude thing.  And if you can find someone to help coach you back to the right attitude you will regain control.

One of the big secrets to maintaining control over your life is know what you can and can’t control.  If you are trying to control the uncontrollables you are going to be out of control.  Quit worrying about the uncontrollables and start working on what you can control.

Let me give you an example.  A family I know has 8 children and dad lost his high-level, high-paying executive position in 2002.  For the past 8 years they have burned through all their savings, relied heavily on family and friends to sustain them day-to-day, and almost lost their home (which would have meant breaking the children apart) while dad has done everything in his power to keep things on track.  He painted houses, mowed lawns, and held professional jobs paying 1/3 of his previous salary. Mom found ways to bring home a few bucks every week. The older kids started to work and contribute.  I can’t imagine the stress that family has been through over the past 100 months.  That’s 3,000 days and counting of the“new normal”.  They adjusted, and controlled the stuff they could control.

“What if” is an attitude.  Try these on for size:

What if I can get up today and make one new connection?

What if I help someone today?

What if I discover a new career path?

What if I get my budget under control?

What if I find a way to make an extra $100 this week?

If you woke up today you’ve been given a gift.  A gift that someone you loved wasn’t given.  Now its up to you what to do with that gift.  Its called the present for a reason.

When I was growing up my parents had a 14′ Hobie Cat.  We used to take it to Grey’s Lake in Des Moines.  Once a summer dad would affix the boat to the roof (yes, the roof) of our 1972 Grand Torino station wagon and haul us to Clear Lake, Iowa for a week of sailing.  Being on that boat are some of the fondest memories of my childhood.  I still vividly remember the day at Clear Lake when dad let me take the boat out solo.  I think I was 12 or 13, and mom wasn’t around when he handed me the ‘keys’.

My father went on to be a crew member aboard one or two trips from Florida to the Virgin Islands (just not on the Hobie) and in 1981 I had the sailing experience of a lifetime riding along as a race team practiced for an upcoming race on Puget Sound.

On a small lake in Iowa there’s plenty of room for error (dad tipped the boat more than once), but out on the open water the margin for error is much, much smaller.  Help is hours, if not days, away.  Currents change, the wind will shift.  You get into shipping lanes and your 42′ boat is going to have to yield to the 100,000 ton freighters.    A major weather system may stand between you and your destination.  Believe me, you are not going to be sailing in a straight line.  You are constantly assessing your situation & target, and making the necessary course corrections.  Life, my friends, is like sailing on the open water.

I started sailing right into a storm recently.  A storm of my own making.  And since I was generating the storm, I didn’t recognize it as a storm.  I generally have a positive outlook on life, but I also tend to question things and (in some cases) doubt them.  My doubting generated the storm.  I had taken a stance on a situation at work that wasn’t popular.  And it wasn’t popular because it was a “this is a waste of time” stance.  I was the pessimist.  My position is easily defended, but it is a “we can’t” position.  I had taken my eye off the destination.  It was time for a course correction.

My boss called me on the negativity.  Rather than continue to argue a defensible position on why we would waste time and resources I made a conscience decision to focus on the “how can we”.  For the immediate term, the situation isn’t going to change.  But how I approach the situation HAS to change.  I was the last one to recognize it, but the negativity was making it harder for my co-workers to reach their destinations.  How many times have I posted about attitude on this blog?  Shame on me.

So I made a phone call yesterday that was part of the “how can we” strategy and, lo and behold, it took us one step closer to breaking a barrier that’s been in place for 4+ years.  There’s plenty more work to go before we can make a significant change to the situation, but I was able to make an immediate change in how I approached the situation.  Calm waters are easier to sail.  When there’s a storm approaching you need to make adjustments to your course.

I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full.
Arthur Ashe

My friend is a busy guy, and since I don’t pay him to host this site (beyond the occasional lunch) I wasn’t going to keep pestering him about getting it up and running.  In others words, things were out of my hands.  I had to be patient and wait until he had time to get everything sorted out.

In the end everything worked out.  I was able to make a quick change at my DNS and my friend was able to figure out what was going on with his end.  The bottom line is here you are, reading this post, even though most of what was keeping the site down was well beyond my control.

Its no different at work.  There’s going to be things that you can directly effect.  Your attitude.  Your moral and ethical compass.  The quality of work you produce.  The amount of time you are willing to engage in productive activity.

Then there’s the things you can’t control.  The aggressive salesperson that targets your clients.  The computer virus your work PC picked up.  The broken coffee machine.  Your office’s “Debbie Downer”.  Or (if you watched the Debbie Downer video) the boom mic and inability to keep a straight face when delivering comedic material.

Lets face facts, we are all out of control more than we’re in control.  But the more you get a handle on what you CAN control, the less impact the uncontrollables have on our situation.  It starts with your attitude, which can be impacted by your expectations.  When engaging in a career search you have to be ready for rejection.  The norm is un-returned calls, emails, and job applications.   Having that perspective out of the gate puts YOU in control of the rejection, rather than having the rejection control you.

Because you will hear NO more than YES you should set some ‘connection goals’.   Reach out to 15 new people this week.  That’s only 3 a day.  Maybe you met them at soccer practice.  Or they work for a targeted employer.  Reach out to them – get to know them – ask them how YOU can help THEM.   Tell them about yourself, what you’ve been doing, where you’re going, and let them come up with a way to help you.  You can control that.  If you are talking to 60 new people a month chances are pretty strong that you’ll get a MINIMUM of 6 lukewarm to hot job leads.

I know a lot of people who send out a lot of resumes.  If you send out 60 resumes you might get ONE ‘thanks for applying’ form letter.  One rejection letter vs. a half a dozen leads and 120 more eyeballs watching the market for you.  Which activity should you focus on?  That is completely in your control.

When you send a resume to a job posted at CareerBuilder, HotJobs, Indeed, Craigslist, etc… chances are pretty good you won’t catch the attention of the decision maker.  They have 100 resumes to sort through, and yours looks like the rest of them.  But if you take some time to research the organization and get a name on the inside your chances of having the attention of someone increases dramatically.  I would estimate that less than 10% of applicants actually take the time to find a connection on the inside and work it.  Follow up is in your control.

Your energy level is controllable.  Work can drag you down, wear you out, chew you up, and spit you out.  A job (including your job finding a job) is difficult.  That’s why it’s called “work”.  You need to make sure your batteries are charged.  The food you consume & the exercise (or lack there of) you get have a direct impact on your energy level.  If you control the amount of energy you have you will have more control on your attitude and how others perceive you.

You can’t control HR.  You can’t control the competition.  You can’t control when you get a job.

You can control your activities.  You can control your approach.  You can control how you respond to adversity.

Know what you can and can’t control.  Its a liberating feeling.

Get control over your business before it gets control over you.

In this PC world we give kids a “participation trophy”, and grade on a curve with plenty of extra credit opportunities so there’s “no child left behind”.  Where has that gotten us?  We put up with marginal service in retail stores, deal with barely intelligible customer service reps from Bangladore when we have a problem with our cable bill, and stand by as our politicians mortgage the future of our country because some businesses are “too big to fail”.

Second place sucks.  If you don’t have enough competitive fire to feel that way you may be in for a long job search.  Let me say this again.  SECOND PLACE SUCKS! It doesn’t pay your mortgage.  It doesn’t change your situation.  GMAC isn’t going to accept “I came in second place for a job last week” when they want to know where your car payment is.

However, if you’ve been coming in second place you should have hope.  The closest Indianapolis 500 margin of victory was .043 seconds.  Al Unser Jr & Scott Goodyear drove their cars 500 miles, at speeds up to 225 miles per hour, and the margin of victory was less than a blink.   Second place DOES mean you’re generally beating out a dozen other candidates and the winner may have been selected by a hair.

Second place finishers – diagnose what’s causing you to finish behind the winner.  That means you need feedback. Today I had a situation where the second place candidate lost out because the winner put together a document outlining his strategy should he be offered the job.  That document was distributed to the various stakeholders by the hiring manager and it got him the job.  My 2nd place finisher now has another weapon in his job search arsenal – the “hire me and this is where I see us going” document.

I know getting feedback from organizations is like pulling teeth from an angry gorilla, but it is possible.  The secret to getting more consistent feedback is not to wait to ask until you’ve been told you’re 2nd place at the end of the hiring process.  It starts with developing rapport with everyone you meet within the organization.   If you’ve been coming in 2nd place you probably already have a good handle on how to do this.  A strong relationship with individuals in HR and the hiring group will allow you to set a simple expectation – if  you select someone else I would appreciate honest feedback on why that decision was made.

Try something like this at some point in the interviewing process:

“This is a great company and opportunity, and I know that should you select me I will be very excited to be a part of the team and would immediately bring something to the table, but if you do end up selecting someone else I would greatly appreciate an opportunity to speak with you about where we missed.  Would that be acceptable?”.

It may be counter-intuitive to suggest they’re not going to hire you during the process.  And if you don’t find a way to ask this question, in a manner that you’re comfortable asking, it could hurt you.  But if you want to get more than a letter saying “thank you for your time” its an expectation you want to set.  If you don’t select me I want to know why.    Maybe they hired someone from a competitor.  Maybe they found someone that had contacts in their client base.  Maybe someone put together a strategy document.  Maybe the job was de-funded and there was NO winner.  Simple closure goes a long way.

2nd place finishers also need to ask themselves two questions:

Are there other jobs that would be a better match?  (You might even want to ask THEM that question).

What if 1st place washes out in 90 days?

Just because they said no doesn’t mean you should terminate the relationship.  Stay connected to the company and the people you met.  Follow the company on LinkedIn.  Set up a Google alert.  Schedule regular calls / emails to EVERYONE that you touched during your job search.  You don’t need to STALK people – weekly contact is not necessary – but reach out every month or so.  Maybe one month you email the HR person, the next month the director.  Find an interesting article that you want to share.  Congratulate them on an award or piece of business you saw they won.  Don’t tell them “I’m still on the market”.  Just reach out with a cordial hello and a piece of information that you thought they could use.

If 1st place washes out you just spared them the headache of going through the hiring process cold if you’re still fresh in their minds.   I came in 2nd place for my current job the first time I interviewed for it.  180 days later I was the winner and ten years later I’m still here.

There’s another very good Lombardi quote to remember.

It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not a winner.

Vince didn’t win all the time, but he kept losing in perspective.  Have faith that you won’t always be 2nd place and have the discipline to make up those 4 100ths of a second.

I talk to a lot of job seekers.  A LOT.  They ask questions about how they should handle specific responses to interview questions, or ask how long they should wait until they call back a company after sending a resume.  And knowing the answers to those questions can be important, but it’s not getting you from A-B if you know the “secret” to answering a question right (hint – there is no secret – every situation is different).

I also talk to a lot of people who are in the career coaching business.  I lead a group that is part of the Crossroads Career Network.  There are some basic strategies to find a job that you need to be following.  Until you understand these basic strategies, diving into the details might send you down a rabbit hole that will distract you from big picture things.   You can get too tangled up in the car being dirty and not appreciate that it’s still getting you where you’re going.

Here’s the basics you should appreciate before you worry about the details.

#1  Getting a job today is difficult.  It’s going to take time & effort.  20 years ago responding to ads in the paper would get you a job.  For the past 15 years it’s been the same thing, only the classifieds are now called the internet.  Today the effort you put into responding to job posts will work 15% of the time.  Don’t put more than 15% of your efforts into that strategy.  If the paper/internet doesn’t work what does?  Good, old fashioned selling.  That’s what works.  Understanding your product (you), researching the market that can use that product, prospecting for leads within that market, and closing the deal with your next business partner.

#2  Understanding your product.  If you’ve been selling widgets for 20 years and the widget market is dead in your targeted city you need to know what you bring to the table outside of being a widget salesman.  You’ve heard the term “transferable skills”.  We all have them.  Know what they are.  But go beyond those skills.  What are you passionate about?  What interests do you have?  What kind of education and training have you received?  Those are all parts of the “you” puzzle.

Example:  the “I’m a people person” transferable skill.  You need to understand yourself well beyond that specific cliché (and it is a cliché).   I’m pretty good at talking to people, but I’m really passionate about helping them.  I also have a psychology degree which helps me understand what motivates people and makes the tick.  I am good working in an environment where I can be self-directed, but I thrive on the freedom to make decisions (and live with them).  Rather than thinking just about skills, think about why you have those skills & how they have developed over the years.  That’s when you really understand your product.

#3  You have to research your market.  Not in a specific sense, but in a general sense.  What type of job would you be happy doing?  Where do you want to be in 5 years?  10 years?  What kind of industry offers those types of opportunities?   The Occupational Outlook Handbook and O*Net are excellent resources for that type of research.  If you’ve been a widget salesman for 20 years you may have a very narrow view of the opportunities that lay ahead.  Research some positions and target two or three occupations that you feel would suit you.

#4  You have to have a marketing plan.  This is where the resume comes into play.  The first question many new job seekers ask me is “can you help with my resume”.   Resumes are probably the most common rabbit hole job seekers run down.  They spend hours fretting over every sentence, how its formatted, how long it should be, what it contains, and just about every other aspect of that piece of paper.  STOP IT!

You don’t need to have your professional life history on a resume – the ONLY thing that document is supposed to do is get someone interested in you.  And if all you have in your marketing plan is a resume you’re missing so many other ways you can get someone interested in what you have to offer.  Like a BLOG.  Or your LinkedIn profile.  Or a PowerPoint presentation.  A YouTube video.   You need marketing materials and in today’s connected world if all you have is a 2 page Word document you are missing opportunities to shine.

#5  You need to network.  Meet with people one-on-one.  Meet with groups.  Join professional organizations.  Go to employer open houses.  Hit the job fair (a great place to network, not get a job).  If you aren’t meeting (and following up) with at least 3-5 NEW contacts a week you are missing opportunities.

If you understand and follow those basic steps you are going to uncover the opportunity you are seeking.  A job search is not a passive process anymore.  Get back to the basics.  Know yourself, know what you want, and seek out people who can assist you along the way.  Above all, keep a positive attitude.  Your next job is out there waiting for you.  Its up to you to go find it.

Theme #1 – Honesty.  You simply can’t be someone you’re not.  No matter how hard you try to mask your shortcomings or cover your warts, they’re going to show.  Recognize areas you need to improve and work on them.  Don’t expect an overnight change.  Look at areas where you’re strong and make sure you’re leveraging them.  Don’t leave a talent for something on the table because it’s not part of your job.  Find other ways to use that ability.  Know your strengths & weaknesses.  More importantly know how to leverage your strengths and work around your weaknesses.

On the same line, you have to be honest with everyone.  Your customers, your boss, your co-workers.  EVERYONE.  As a recruiter I have to deliver a lot of bad news.  You didn’t get the job.  Your assignment is coming to an end.  Your resume is a train wreck (ok, maybe I don’t use that vernacular, but I tell a lot of people they need to rebuild).  Not returning a call because you’re afraid of the reaction of the individual on the other end is being dishonest.  You can’t avoid conflict, just handle it in a professional manner.  When you deliver bad news be empathetic, you are still are on their side and want to help.

Theme #2 – Details.  Are you proofreading your emails?  Do you make the same small mistakes over and over?  Are you following up with people?  How much do you know about the company and person you’re interviewing with?  Please don’t say you’re “detail oriented” on your resume.  Prove it in how you interact with others.

Theme #3 – Relationships.  Your professional career is built on relationships.  No one can go it alone.  Send a thank you, buy someone coffee, offer to help.  Give first, give more, give often.

You don’t have to be looking for a job to gain something from reading this article.  No one expects overnight change, but you can take something away that will make you a better professional.  And person.

Successful people don’t wait for things to happen – they make things happen.  You can’t sit back and wait for your next job to be posted to CareerBuilder anymore.  Unemployment is still at 10%.  It’s worse in some areas of the country.  To put it in carpentry terms, you’ll need to use every tool in your box.  You’ll need to find some new tools.  You’ll use your shoe to drive a nail.  You’ll want to research what tools other people are using and incorporate them into your strategy.

An online strategy isn’t new, the job boards have been around for more than a decade.  If you’re spending more than 15% of your time applying to jobs online is it getting you anywhere?  Maybe its time to look at other ways to leverage the Internet.  Build your LinkedIn network.  Start following job search related trends on Twitter.  If you’re searching for a job 40 hours a week (and you should be), only 6-8 of those hours should be spent in front of a monitor.

You have to implement a strategy that involves multiple channels.  Have you ever heard that chance favors the well-prepared?  Its another way of saying you make your own luck.

Rather than sitting in front of your keyboard….

1. Join a professional organization that is related to your target position.  Become active in that group – perhaps even taking a leadership role.
2. Target employers that don’t have jobs posted right now.  But you want to work for them, right?  Find people on the inside that are willing to have coffee with you and give you some insight.  Get to know the company culture, the players, and (most importantly) why they hire people.  Be that person the next time a job opens there and make sure your contacts KNOW you’re that person.
3. Find potential competitors to your target organizations.  If I think someone is sharp and I think I may end up having to compete with them, well, they just might end up with a spot on my team.
4. Hit the job clubs.   Ironically people who are looking for jobs know where jobs are.  Funny, huh?
5. You’ve spent 6-8 hours applying for jobs online, right?  You better spend at least that amount of time following up on those leads or else you’re wasting them.  Make phone calls.  Find people on the inside and send a hand-written card.  Show up on their doorstep with cookies.  Pitch a tent in the grass until they agree to talk to you.  Ok, that’s over the line, but you get the point.  Be persistent, but don’t be a pest.  Even if they fill the job you applied for if they become a target employer and you refer to #2.
6. Go to every job fair you can.  Don’t expect to find a job, go in with the expectation that you’re simply going to build your network.  Don’t just talk to the employers – spend some time networking with the other people who are there.
7. Hand your business card out to EVERYONE.  Your dentist.  The waiter.  Church.  Ball Games.  Strike up a conversation with someone everywhere you go.  Make sure they know you’re looking and look for a way to help them.

This is just a brief list of things you can be doing.  Be creative.   Do a video resume.  Author a blog.  Set up a “Career Stand” at a busy intersection in an area where people can drive by and see you.  Buy space on a billboard.  Don’t wait, you need to get engaged.  Don’t try to be lucky – there is no such thing – you need to be good.

So I’m heading to the Kansas City Online Community June networking event tonight at M&S Grill.  My goal is meet at least 5 new people and find out how I can help them.  Simple.  To the point.  Find 5 people and ask “Hi, May I Help You”.  Ok, maybe I won’t use those exact words, but I want to go and see who I can help.

Earlier this year I had a Give First post, looking back at it I even references Gates.  Its worth repeating – if you want to build a good relationship with ANYONE look for ways to help them.  Not because they’ll “owe you one”, but because its the right thing to do.  It’s also a way to stand out from the crowd.  “The crowd” is mostly interested in themselves and advancing their lot in life.  They don’t really care about helping anyone other than themselves.  They might help someone else, but they’re looking for a returned favor.  Many times they’re disappointed when that favor never materialized and all of a sudden they’re angry & bitter.

Give unselfishly.  Be sincere in your desire to help.  People will remember that.  They will want to help you.  Not out of obligation, but out of respect.  They’ll be the people you can call at 4am when you have a flat tire.  They’ll be the people that are constantly singing your praises to anyone within earshot.  Not because they HAVE to, but because they WANT to.

Giving yourself away will make you feel better.  Rather than worrying about your problems, you’re helping someone else solve their problem.  Whether you’ve been in a job for a decade or engaged in a job search for the past 10 months, if you find a way to help others you’re going to ultimately be helping yourself.

If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another – The Dalai Lama

This year, especially with an increasingly unpopular war being fought on two fronts, it’s important that we take some time to reflect on how blessed we are to have people willing to protect our freedom.   My father was drafted and served 2 years in Oklahoma between Korea & Vietnam, his younger brother fought in the infantry in Vietnam, a fraternity brother is currently serving in Iraq.   I am thankful that my uncle is not in Arlington and pray that my brother returns to his family safely next year.  There’s many family and friends attached to each one of the crosses you see in this picture and countless graves seen and unseen.  I am thankful to them, I weep for their loss, and I pray for their comfort.

There’s a controversy brewing in New York City regarding a mosque.  A community group wants to build a mosque a few blocks from Ground Zero.  The plan was approved 29 – 1 despite extremely an extremely vocal and passionate opposition.  I applaud the community group responsible for that vote.   Innocent muslims perished on 9/11 right beside innocent Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddists, aethisets & agnostics.  We are not at war against Islam.  We are fighting a radical ideology with roots in a twisted version of Islam.

Man has used religion as an excuse to conquer for millenia – that includes supposed “Christians”.  An attitude that is at the root of human conflict going back to Cain & Abel.

Rather than continuing to opine about conflict lets tie these thoughts to how you should be approaching your professional life.  This is “That Job Guy” after all.  The teachings of Christ are a great place to start.  “Love thy neighbor”, “turn the other cheek”, “go the extra mile”, “forget your sacrifice, go make amends with your brother”.  You should be conducting yourself every single day as a servant.  As my good friend Chad Snider says, you should give first, give more, and give often.  Ask “how can I help you” more than “can you help me”.  Listen more than you speak.  Don’t get involved in the office gossip.  Befriend the unpopular.  Comfort those who are struggling.  Support, don’t tear down.

Monday many of us will go to the cemetery to place a flag or flowers on a tombstone.  To honor a fallen hero.  To cry.  To laugh.  To sit silently and remember the good times we had with people who have gone.  Even if you don’t take a trip to that hallowed ground, please take time to remember and be thankful for those who have gone before us.  Let us learn from them, honor their lives, and pray for peace.